From Unknown, 1 Year ago, written in Plain Text.
  14. Anyway, because she is very demonstrative (hugging and saying "I love you" and getting romantic ,personal gifts for anniversaries and birthdays) she always kind of assumed that she was just the more loving of them and that was the way it was. Sure her husband loved her but she was the more loving partner.
  16. So she got her home organized and started keeping a neat tidy house, having meals cooked on a regular basis and not having to send her husband to work in dirty underwear that has been sprayed with Lysol and tumbled in the dryer to make it smell clean (this is what their books are about-getting organized when you are a REAL slob). One day, she is talking to her husband about how it was before and he says that he always thought he loved her more because she would never do the things to make him more comfortable (i.e. make sure meals were cooked, make sure he had clean clothes to wear; fulfill her end of the division of labor that they had decided on). She was shocked. She says, "How could you think that? I was always the one to say I love you." He says, "I thought they were just pretty words. How could you love me and not be willing to put out the effort to keep up on the laundry?"
  18. She realized that she puts more store in what she calls "personal love" and her husband emphasizes "impersonal love". Each was giving the other what they wanted without thinking about what their partner might want. Once they realized this they each made a concerted effort to see their partner's gifts for what they were and to give their partner what they desired. Both were acting very lovingly, just not in a manner that the other was capable of appreciating at the time.
  20. The specifics may be different but I think this is a pretty common issue for people.
  22. Otter*
  24. PS I understand that there are lots of men who don't equate keeping a tidy house or a hot dinner on the table to love. Mine does (along with countless other things), Pam Jones' does, but many men could care less. I really hope that we don't get a barrage of posts about how someone's husband doesn't equate house work with love. And, yes, I know: if your man wants clean clothes he knows how to operate the laundry machines. That wasn't the point, it was just an example. =)
  26. "The moment that I looked into your eyes, you owned me."
  27. -Kenny Chesney
  29. by Otter on 2005 Jul 26 - 19:52 | reply to this comment
  30. To Neska