From Unknown, 1 Year ago, written in Plain Text.
  12. First of all, congratulations on realising the potential for a new style of relationship with your wife. Change is never easy, and can be worrying and unsettling. However, as a number of people here have already said, it is unlikely you would have felt as good as you did, unless there was a natural spark of dominance in you that was fanned by your wife's desire to be taken in hand.
  14. However, I can totally understand the setbacks you are going through - if you read some of the posts on this site, everything is meant to be absolutely wonderful from the first night onwards (a bit like sex is supposed to be :-)) - however, there are a number of false starts, mistakes and simple changes that many people need to go through before they can settle down into a relationship that is comfortable for them both (if it is comfortable for just one of them, I personally feel that the relationship is abusive and doomed to failure, but that is another story). If you want some understanding of how things can go right and wrong, try reading one of my very early posts, about the first time I took J in hand... Looking back, it is quite amazing how things changed, but it makes for a good realisation that not everything is perfect the first time.
  16. When it comes to sustaining your role as head of the household, I would reinforce what a previous writer stated - try to remain calm, do not get drawn into arguments. If necessary, send her upstairs to the room while you have 10 mins (or whatever) to think through what has happened and get yourself under control. I personally feel that a scolding/spanking is FAR more effective from someone who is coolly in control and calm, and not from someone who is visibly angry and can barely control themselves.
  18. That brings me to the core of my advice - if you want to provide support and control for someone else, learn to control yourself. Do not allow your self to be drawn into arguments, or rushed into decisions. If you are under stress, take 5 minutes by yourself (thinking time) out in the garden (or whatever) and work through what is the best, safest and most effective way of the both of you getting what you need. Note that I say both of you - it takes two to tango, and by taking on the role of head of the household you are accepting the responsibility to make decisions for the both of you.